I have a nasty cold. Normally, that would be nothing a little DayQuil couldn't fix. But I'm pregnant. Which means NO COLD MEDICINE ALLOWED.
W. T. F.?!?!?!?!
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Pre-Approved Belly Rubbers
Yesterday I mentioned that people should never ask to rub a pregnant woman's belly. Ten minutes after hitting "Publish" my bestie texted me.
"I will rub your belly whenever I want, just try to stop me."
I cracked up. She's right. I never even bat an eye when she rubs my bump. Same goes for The Hubs, most of my family, and select close friends. In fact, I love when they do it! I had a Carrie Bradshaw moment and couldn't help but wonder...
Why am I so offended when some rub my pregnant stomach but I adore when others do it? What makes someone worthy of being placed on my pre-approved belly rubbers list? I reflected on my experiences with the belly rub and how each made me feel.
Those that I welcome the rub from are those that I trust implicitly, that I feel completely safe around and protected by. They don't even need to ask me first, I almost expect them to give my little bun in the oven a warm pat hello whenever they see me. I have a level of intimacy with these people that I don't with others. But it's more than that. When thinking of those times I felt repulsed or annoyed at a belly rub, I realized something big. Not only do I not necessarily trust those people, I don't trust my child with them.
Call it mother's intuition, biology, animal instinct, whatever you like, but my belly is like a safety radar. So far the people that have incited a sense of violation have been strangers, people who were heavily intoxicated, casual acquaintances, and "friends" whom have betrayed me, lost my trust, or I deem irresponsible. If my first instinct when someone rubs my belly is anger, chances are high that I don't find them worthy of being a constant in my baby's life. No belly, no baby? It may sound cold, but it may also be a harsh reality.
My little guy isn't even here yet and I'm already fiercely protective over him. I shield my belly in public places, when around sharp corners, and in any situation I may feel a little creeped out or vulnerable. I'm already highly sensitive to who I want to interact with my kid. The Hubs and I frequently discuss appropriate babysitters and possible guardians in the tragic event that something happen to us. So I guess it only makes sense that my belly, the literal protector of my unborn child, would act as a sort of detector for those that should and shouldn't be in my son's life. Or is my stomach just an elitist snob?
What do y'all think? Is my belly's pre-approved baby rubbers list an amazing safety predictor? Or is it just acting like a pushy bouncer manning the velvet rope of my uber-exclusive Club Uterus?
"I will rub your belly whenever I want, just try to stop me."
I cracked up. She's right. I never even bat an eye when she rubs my bump. Same goes for The Hubs, most of my family, and select close friends. In fact, I love when they do it! I had a Carrie Bradshaw moment and couldn't help but wonder...
Why am I so offended when some rub my pregnant stomach but I adore when others do it? What makes someone worthy of being placed on my pre-approved belly rubbers list? I reflected on my experiences with the belly rub and how each made me feel.
Those that I welcome the rub from are those that I trust implicitly, that I feel completely safe around and protected by. They don't even need to ask me first, I almost expect them to give my little bun in the oven a warm pat hello whenever they see me. I have a level of intimacy with these people that I don't with others. But it's more than that. When thinking of those times I felt repulsed or annoyed at a belly rub, I realized something big. Not only do I not necessarily trust those people, I don't trust my child with them.
Call it mother's intuition, biology, animal instinct, whatever you like, but my belly is like a safety radar. So far the people that have incited a sense of violation have been strangers, people who were heavily intoxicated, casual acquaintances, and "friends" whom have betrayed me, lost my trust, or I deem irresponsible. If my first instinct when someone rubs my belly is anger, chances are high that I don't find them worthy of being a constant in my baby's life. No belly, no baby? It may sound cold, but it may also be a harsh reality.
My little guy isn't even here yet and I'm already fiercely protective over him. I shield my belly in public places, when around sharp corners, and in any situation I may feel a little creeped out or vulnerable. I'm already highly sensitive to who I want to interact with my kid. The Hubs and I frequently discuss appropriate babysitters and possible guardians in the tragic event that something happen to us. So I guess it only makes sense that my belly, the literal protector of my unborn child, would act as a sort of detector for those that should and shouldn't be in my son's life. Or is my stomach just an elitist snob?
What do y'all think? Is my belly's pre-approved baby rubbers list an amazing safety predictor? Or is it just acting like a pushy bouncer manning the velvet rope of my uber-exclusive Club Uterus?
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
WTF Wednesday: How to Piss Off a Pregnant Woman
WTF happens to people when they're around a pregnant woman? Tell someone you're preggers and suddenly all decorum and tact flies right out the window. They will say ANYthing to you no matter how wildly inappropriate. I can't decide if these people are trying to help or if they're just assholes. Probably a little of both. For those that may have an expectant mom in their life, here's a handy list of some things to NEVER EVER EVER say to her:
Was this planned?
Were YOU planned?
Took you long enough! (Same goes for "I'm not ready for you to be pregnant yet!")
Oh shit! Next time I'll be sure to bone on a timeline that works for you.
You're so big! Are you sure it's now twins in there?
Yes, I'm sure. How many babies are YOU having, asshat? (This also goes for "You're so tiny!" Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.)
Can I rub your belly? (especially if said while you're ALREADY touching her belly)
Can I rub YOUR belly, random stranger? No?!? Alrighty, then.
I don't like that name.
Well now I don't like yours.
I wish you were having a boy/girl instead of a girl/boy.
Oh, I'm sorry. Let me just perform a sex change on my unborn child in utero to suit your desires.
Get all the sleep you can now, because it's all over when the baby comes!
Gee, thanks! I hadn't thought of that! And I'm sleeping just great now what with all the worrying, aches, baby kicks, and constant peeing.
I have the worst/scariest/grossest labor story...
Splendid! I wasn't terrified enough.
Are you sure you should eat/drink that?
Are you sure you should question a hormonal pregnant woman?
It's just hormones.
Fuck you.
Was this planned?
Were YOU planned?
Took you long enough! (Same goes for "I'm not ready for you to be pregnant yet!")
Oh shit! Next time I'll be sure to bone on a timeline that works for you.
You're so big! Are you sure it's now twins in there?
Yes, I'm sure. How many babies are YOU having, asshat? (This also goes for "You're so tiny!" Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.)
Can I rub your belly? (especially if said while you're ALREADY touching her belly)
Can I rub YOUR belly, random stranger? No?!? Alrighty, then.
I don't like that name.
Well now I don't like yours.
I wish you were having a boy/girl instead of a girl/boy.
Oh, I'm sorry. Let me just perform a sex change on my unborn child in utero to suit your desires.
Get all the sleep you can now, because it's all over when the baby comes!
Gee, thanks! I hadn't thought of that! And I'm sleeping just great now what with all the worrying, aches, baby kicks, and constant peeing.
I have the worst/scariest/grossest labor story...
Splendid! I wasn't terrified enough.
Are you sure you should eat/drink that?
Are you sure you should question a hormonal pregnant woman?
It's just hormones.
Fuck you.
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